Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
LALU: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?

LALU: Because, it is Black & White

Lalu attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?

Lalu: If U give me the address I will find that sir.

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?

Lalu: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike.
He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.
Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'
Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.
'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

Lalu at an Art Gallery: "I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?"

Art dealer: "I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!"

Lalu to his friend: I kiss my wife every day before leaving for office, what about you?

Friend: Yes, Me too, after u leave.

Lalu & his wife goes to coffee shop and they order coffee.
When coffee comes, Lalu check the Menu Card and drinks his coffee in hurry and asks his wife also to do so.
Wife gets puzzled and asks why...

Lalu says they charge 50 bucks for hot coffee and 100 bucks for cold coffee.

What does Lalu do after taking a Photocopy (Xerox)?

He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Lalu went for a Job interview and was filling up an application form given to him. He was not sure as to what was to be filled in the column "Salary Expected".

After thinking for long time he wrote: Yes

Lalu was writing something very slowly.
Onlooker asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?"

Lalu: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast."

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji was tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I will ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.