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1. A wife asked her husband to describe her:
He said, 'you’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K'.
She said, 'What does that mean?'
He said Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot'.
She said, 'Oh that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?'
He said-- I'm Just Kidding---!!!

2. TEN Important things about MARRAIGE
1. The woman always makes the rules.
2. These rules are subject to change without notice.
3. No man can possibly know all the rules.
4. The woman is never wrong.
5. If it appears the woman is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the man did or said.
6. The man must apologise immediately for causing the misunderstanding
7. The woman can change her mind at any time
8. The man must never change his mind without the proper consent of the woman
9. The man must read the mind of the woman at all times
10. At all times, what is important is what the woman meant, not what she said.

 

3. Art of Living

ONE DAY A HUSBAND COMES HOME FROM SATSANG. HE GREETS HIS WIFE AND LIFTS HER UP, HE THEN CARRIES HER AROUND THE HOUSE WITH A RADIANT SMILE.
THE WIFE IS SO SURPRISED AND SHE ASKS... 'DID THE SWAMI PREACH ABOUT BEING ROMANTIC TODAY?

THE HUSBAND SAYS,
'NO, HE SAID WE MUST CARRY OUR BURDENS AND SORROWS WITH A SMILE !'

4. A newly married husband saves his wife's mobile number on his mobile as "My life"

After one year of marriage he changes the number to "My Wife"
After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to "Home"
After 5 years of marriage he changes the number to "Hitler"

And after 10 years of marriage he changes the number to "Wrong Number"

5. Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life!!!

6. " Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others."

Oscar Wilde

7. "Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener."

8. Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "Promise me after my death you will marry Samy."

"Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so I want him to suffer now."

9. Wife mentioned to her husband that for her birthday,
she would like something that accelerates from 0 to
100 in four seconds.
She was expecting something like this............

 

But her husband presented her with something very different...

Any Thoughts........

10. "When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife."

11. Woman inspires man to great things, and prevents him from achieving them.

Anonymous

12. Before marriage.... .

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....

Simply read from bottom to top

13. The great question .... which I have not been able to answer ... is, 'What does a woman want?

Dumas

14. HAPPY COUPLE

Once upon a time a couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret.
Editor: "Sir. It's unbelievable. How did you make this possible?" Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had our honeymoon after marriage. we selected the horse riding, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?".
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!".
Husband: "That's it. I understood her, I accepted her as it is, and hence we are happy ever after. "
One of the Secrets to become Happy is:

"ACCEPT THE PERSON AS IT IS"

15. "A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries."

16. Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."

"But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."

The judge asked, "How do you know that?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

17. Marriage

Life before marriage is AIRTEL
"You can express Your self ".
During honeymoon is RELIANCE-
" Always get in TOUCH. "
After Honeymoon is HUTCH
" Wherever u go ur WIFE network follows."
After one year, Life is IDEA
" ur wife can CHANGE ur life ".
After 10 years, Life is BSNL
" Subscriber is not REACHABLE "?????????

18. When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?

Answer : On their Wedding !!

19. "A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free."

20. "A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."

U2

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